Getting cold feet

God, I haven't posted for over two weeks.

I'm eating a jam and cream cake and watching TV on my laptop. I'm wearing a towel because I can't find my dressing gown. How awesome is the show 'Heroes' really? It's really filling the void left by the fact that I can't afford comic books at the moment.

I have just poured cold water on my foot. The towel's gonna come in handy now.

I'm kinda worried about two of my friends smoking too much weed. They're starting to get overly aggressive in situations that don't really call for it, and having mood swings sometimes. I can't reach into their lives and change things, but some days I wish I could.

I don't have much else to say right now except for I wish I was a superhero.
xxo

To someone very special, so says the Valentine

I'm missing you to death but your reach is long.

It's strange how someone who's so close can seem like they're a million miles away. We get close sometimes, but we're both too scared. Even then, what I meant was never said. Your makeup is still on my pillow, am I still on yours? It's proof of what's still there. I think we're running out of alcohol honey. I hate this fucking town.

Shiver. That's what you get when you think of her. Dreams of you every night. Hoping at the front, but knowing at the back that your not doing the same.

Hah, I write about you every day. Up here, on scraps of paper, in my notebook, in your Valentine. You just don't have the time do you? Sometimes I wonder if you'll even have time for your own birthday.

You'll probably never read this. It's hard to let go sometimes. Refreshing every morning, every night, for a journal update. I can't help myself. Waiting for that message that'll never come.

Don't take this too bad. I'm not mad. I couldn't think more of you than I do right now. You've got so much in your life right now that I know I can't help but be pushed to one side. I'm happy where I am. I'm happy for you. I just get caught up sometimes thinking that maybe you could have a few more happy moments in your day if you'd only let me in.

xxo

Pray they don't grow up to be

I don't feel very productive today. I'll probably end up getting results at 3am, as usual. Count yourself lucky, I don't get my fresh start till Friday.

You are the dream, and I am the dreamer. You're no car crash. You're my world. I won't let you fall apart.

I know it doesn't mean anything in comparison, but I write about you.

xxo

I have 3 good ideas

I'm past writing my life around everyones plot line.

It doesn't matter how I feel to any of you. We're all selfish at the core. Every day, every twist, every shock, every word wraps a different shell around our hearts, a different way of feeling or acting. But in those quiet moments, when it's all stripped away and it's just you, then you know who you truely are.

Will anyone understand me crying in that little room? I know you will. Your baby eyes are my pills.

I am ten feet tall. Today a boy, tomorrow a prince.

xxo

I don't have time to fall apart

No more hot feeling. No more bad dreams. Jealousy is so last week.

I'm gonna make this into a real journal tomorrow.

I love you all. Especially you.

xxo

Dedication to a friend

I'm so glad I have you. I don't know where my heart would be if you weren't there.

Belief where there is none. Fighting a selfless battle in the hope that both sides win. You are solid gold.

Thankyou. Over and over till eternity.

xxo

Don't get mad, just leave him

To be standing in a room, knowing I'm the only kid who misses you. That's called love.

Bad news has a way of creeping up on you. That hot feeling just chased away all the strength I had. I had so many words and now they're just ghosts.

Things were going to change, but I guess it's still all about you honey.

xxo

It's what ghosts are made of

Nothing matters in the time between waking and sleep.

I had an awesome night tonight. Just sat in bed and watched movies, ate ice cream and drank beer. There's no point in being upset all the time. I've done so much today and I feel like I could do anything tomorrow.

You're all gonna look so pretty in gold. I'm so excited I could burst.

"You're always on my mind" I never understood that till now. Someone invent cameras for inside my head.

I never miss you too much, because I meet you in my dreams.
xxo