Ok, so I could have updated tonight, I do have some things to talk about. BUT. If I do that, then I'll have to write another post on Saturday, because I know I'll have more things to talk about after tomorrow, and I hate having to write two posts so close together, unless I'm feeling particularly lyrical. I like my posts to have some kind of structure, and I always spend ages trying to get it right. So if I update on Saturday, I'll be able to do one awesome post rather than two mediocre ones. Fair? Yeh I think so. Plus, there's a title I want to use.
It's 3:18 am and I have to meet Lucy tomorrow at 1 for coffee. My eyes are heavy but I still feel active, so I probably won't sleep till like 5, which means I'll be rushing in the morning because I don't have an alarm at the moment. But fuck all that, I'm gonna make toast.
xxo
p.s. One thing I have to talk about which won't be relevant on Saturday is that Lily gets back from Bulgaria tomorrow. I'm excited.
edit: This actually turned out to be quite an average post. Lucky you.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
LDN-DND
8 in the morning and we're driving down the motorway towards London. At this point however, I am completely unaware of this fact, as I am asleep.
The hotel was ok. I immediately grabbed the first shower, got clean, and headed out. I've been to London only once before, but I didn't really pay attention. I think I was ill or something. Anyway, I'm good at finding my way around strange places. I got on the Underground to Picadilly Circus after paying a stupid amount of money for a ticket. I tried to take pictures but they didn't come out too well and people looked at me funny.
Picadilly Circus was kinda cool. I've never been there before, so it was a bit like walking onto a film set, seeing something you've only ever seen in pictures before. I looked at the statue of Eros and remembered the little in-joke. It made me smile.
I picked a random direction and started walking. I figured, this is London, so whichever way I walk, there's gonna be something to see. I was right. Two minutes later I'm at Trafalgar Square. I tried to take pictures of Nelson's Column but I had to stand so far back that the focus messed up and it blurred. I probably could have taken an ok one, but to get in the place I want, I'd need to be dodging traffic.
I walked past Downing Street. I was shocked to see the big fences at each end, and then realise it makes sense. If they weren't there then people would just throw stuff. It's the same at the Houses of Parliament. I spent ages trying to get a good photo of me and Big Ben, and then set my watch by it. There was a statue of William Churchill facing it. He looks like Goldfinger to me.
I took a stroll down the Thames. It made me feel quite poetic, or like I was in a romantic comedy. I ended up back at Picadilly circus and remembered that the Bathing Ape store was nearby. So I walked over to a bus stop to look at the map. I couldn't find the street the store was on, but something else caught my eye. In the bottom left hand corner I see this street, tucked away, called Lillie Road. Now, in life, certain opportunities present themselves, and you have the chance to do something unexpected. This was one of those times. So I jumped on the Underground and scooted my little romantic ass over. I walked down this road, trying to find a street sign to take a picture with. 15 minutes later, I find one that suffices. Now bare in mind I had to wait 10 minutes for the tram, then another 10 minute journey to get to the actual street. Some people may wonder why I went to all this trouble. Well, if you know me, you know that I don't pass up chances to be romantic very often. If I can do something for my Lily (even if she isn't actually MY Lily any more), then I'll do it. Things like that still mean a lot, whatever the circumstances.
After walking another 15 mins back to the Underground station (what the hell man, so you spent 50 minutes to get one lousy photo? Yes motherfucker, I did, now get off my back. I'm sweet, sue me) I headed over to Kings Cross to get a picture of the wall between platforms 9 and 10. I figure I'm here, why not? I got a nice surprise when I arrived to take a picture of a blank wall however. There's like a sign saying 'Platform 9 3/4', and a luggage trolley stuck halfway through the wall. Bad fuckin' ass.
The rest of my night consisted of me heading back to the hotel, my Mum thinking I was dead because she hadn't hear from me, watching Skins, not being able to sleep, getting lost on the way to the Apollo and taking an hour to make a 5 minute journey, being mistaken for Gabe Saporta, and eventually going to sleep with a headache.
Day two, I woke up at about 11, stayed in bed till about 11:40 (so what, I'm on vacation). The problem being we had to check out at 11:30, so the cleaners kept knocking on the door trying to get me out. I got ready in record time and rolled out at a quarter to twelve. My sister, the little lurker that she is, went down to the venue at 7 in the morning, so I knew I had a front row place guaranteed. The doors opened at 5:30, so I spent the day wandering around, trying to avoid talking to random kids, and avoiding being on MTV. Seriously, if that shit ever goes on MTV, there's like a bunch of kids screaming to the camera, and then there's this one dude with a chicks hoodie and flip flops leaning on this shitty ass white van looking all sultry. I expect to spot that shit on Youtube.
Pretty uneventful day. Saw Panic in a hairdressers, which was kinda unexpected. I guess dudes gotta look good.
Got straight to the front at the show. Started out fun. Cobra Starship impressed me, but they didn't really fill the room. Full version of 'Snakes' was bad ass though, with Travie and William Beckett.
I haven't really given The Academy Is' new album much of a listen, but the songs sounded awesome live, and I rocked that on my ipod on the drive home.
Gym Class kicked ass. I wasn't sure how receptive the crowd would be, because last time I saw them in a support slot was with Fall Out Boy at the Academy in Manchester, and like half the people in there booed. They totally came through though for London and everyone loved it, especially the token scream when Patrick came out to sing Cupids Chokehold.
At that point, when GCH walked off stage, I decided that I didn't like being crushed by 15 year old girls. I wasn't even standing up on my own anymore, liek you tkae away the people around me and I'd have just fallen straight over. So I backed up to a safe distance to watch P!ATD.
Panic were so amazing. I've never seen them live before, and from beginning to end they were just perfect. Played new songs, which were awesome, totally what I was expecting, and totally spot on. The crowd reactions, the stage presence, everything was just perfect. I can't wait for them to tour the new album.
So then I'm waiting there expecting Fall Out Boy to come out any minute. It had been about 40 minutes since Panic left the stage, and I see peopel around me getting restless. Then Dirty walks out and I'm like 'finally'. He grabs a mic and announces that there's a little surprise. I'm still reeling from Panic so I'm like 'what now?'. I'll tell you what now. Fucking Tom from the Plain White T's walks out and plays 'Hey There Delilah'. Everyone sings along, it's just amazing.
So after all that, Fall Out Boy take the stage. They're a lot more polished than the last time I saw them. The whole set smacked of pop style, but it was still damn good. Travie rapping over 'The Take Over', the covers of 'Beat It' and 'Ignition', the Timbaland track getting played, albeit minus the man himself, throwing the 'Dance Dance' moves down in front of a bunch of kids who've only ever heard these guys on the radio, and two-stepping to Saturday. The only bad thing was Pete looking as if he didn't want to be there, but that's so minor compared to the rest of the show I don't even care. By the time everyone left I was so wired on adrenalin I couldn't keep my legs from shaking.
I managed to get rid of it and sleep on the drive home. Got in at 6:30 and passed out.
Same time next year.
xxo
The hotel was ok. I immediately grabbed the first shower, got clean, and headed out. I've been to London only once before, but I didn't really pay attention. I think I was ill or something. Anyway, I'm good at finding my way around strange places. I got on the Underground to Picadilly Circus after paying a stupid amount of money for a ticket. I tried to take pictures but they didn't come out too well and people looked at me funny.
Picadilly Circus was kinda cool. I've never been there before, so it was a bit like walking onto a film set, seeing something you've only ever seen in pictures before. I looked at the statue of Eros and remembered the little in-joke. It made me smile.
I picked a random direction and started walking. I figured, this is London, so whichever way I walk, there's gonna be something to see. I was right. Two minutes later I'm at Trafalgar Square. I tried to take pictures of Nelson's Column but I had to stand so far back that the focus messed up and it blurred. I probably could have taken an ok one, but to get in the place I want, I'd need to be dodging traffic.
I walked past Downing Street. I was shocked to see the big fences at each end, and then realise it makes sense. If they weren't there then people would just throw stuff. It's the same at the Houses of Parliament. I spent ages trying to get a good photo of me and Big Ben, and then set my watch by it. There was a statue of William Churchill facing it. He looks like Goldfinger to me.
I took a stroll down the Thames. It made me feel quite poetic, or like I was in a romantic comedy. I ended up back at Picadilly circus and remembered that the Bathing Ape store was nearby. So I walked over to a bus stop to look at the map. I couldn't find the street the store was on, but something else caught my eye. In the bottom left hand corner I see this street, tucked away, called Lillie Road. Now, in life, certain opportunities present themselves, and you have the chance to do something unexpected. This was one of those times. So I jumped on the Underground and scooted my little romantic ass over. I walked down this road, trying to find a street sign to take a picture with. 15 minutes later, I find one that suffices. Now bare in mind I had to wait 10 minutes for the tram, then another 10 minute journey to get to the actual street. Some people may wonder why I went to all this trouble. Well, if you know me, you know that I don't pass up chances to be romantic very often. If I can do something for my Lily (even if she isn't actually MY Lily any more), then I'll do it. Things like that still mean a lot, whatever the circumstances.
After walking another 15 mins back to the Underground station (what the hell man, so you spent 50 minutes to get one lousy photo? Yes motherfucker, I did, now get off my back. I'm sweet, sue me) I headed over to Kings Cross to get a picture of the wall between platforms 9 and 10. I figure I'm here, why not? I got a nice surprise when I arrived to take a picture of a blank wall however. There's like a sign saying 'Platform 9 3/4', and a luggage trolley stuck halfway through the wall. Bad fuckin' ass.
The rest of my night consisted of me heading back to the hotel, my Mum thinking I was dead because she hadn't hear from me, watching Skins, not being able to sleep, getting lost on the way to the Apollo and taking an hour to make a 5 minute journey, being mistaken for Gabe Saporta, and eventually going to sleep with a headache.
Day two, I woke up at about 11, stayed in bed till about 11:40 (so what, I'm on vacation). The problem being we had to check out at 11:30, so the cleaners kept knocking on the door trying to get me out. I got ready in record time and rolled out at a quarter to twelve. My sister, the little lurker that she is, went down to the venue at 7 in the morning, so I knew I had a front row place guaranteed. The doors opened at 5:30, so I spent the day wandering around, trying to avoid talking to random kids, and avoiding being on MTV. Seriously, if that shit ever goes on MTV, there's like a bunch of kids screaming to the camera, and then there's this one dude with a chicks hoodie and flip flops leaning on this shitty ass white van looking all sultry. I expect to spot that shit on Youtube.
Pretty uneventful day. Saw Panic in a hairdressers, which was kinda unexpected. I guess dudes gotta look good.
Got straight to the front at the show. Started out fun. Cobra Starship impressed me, but they didn't really fill the room. Full version of 'Snakes' was bad ass though, with Travie and William Beckett.
I haven't really given The Academy Is' new album much of a listen, but the songs sounded awesome live, and I rocked that on my ipod on the drive home.
Gym Class kicked ass. I wasn't sure how receptive the crowd would be, because last time I saw them in a support slot was with Fall Out Boy at the Academy in Manchester, and like half the people in there booed. They totally came through though for London and everyone loved it, especially the token scream when Patrick came out to sing Cupids Chokehold.
At that point, when GCH walked off stage, I decided that I didn't like being crushed by 15 year old girls. I wasn't even standing up on my own anymore, liek you tkae away the people around me and I'd have just fallen straight over. So I backed up to a safe distance to watch P!ATD.
Panic were so amazing. I've never seen them live before, and from beginning to end they were just perfect. Played new songs, which were awesome, totally what I was expecting, and totally spot on. The crowd reactions, the stage presence, everything was just perfect. I can't wait for them to tour the new album.
So then I'm waiting there expecting Fall Out Boy to come out any minute. It had been about 40 minutes since Panic left the stage, and I see peopel around me getting restless. Then Dirty walks out and I'm like 'finally'. He grabs a mic and announces that there's a little surprise. I'm still reeling from Panic so I'm like 'what now?'. I'll tell you what now. Fucking Tom from the Plain White T's walks out and plays 'Hey There Delilah'. Everyone sings along, it's just amazing.
So after all that, Fall Out Boy take the stage. They're a lot more polished than the last time I saw them. The whole set smacked of pop style, but it was still damn good. Travie rapping over 'The Take Over', the covers of 'Beat It' and 'Ignition', the Timbaland track getting played, albeit minus the man himself, throwing the 'Dance Dance' moves down in front of a bunch of kids who've only ever heard these guys on the radio, and two-stepping to Saturday. The only bad thing was Pete looking as if he didn't want to be there, but that's so minor compared to the rest of the show I don't even care. By the time everyone left I was so wired on adrenalin I couldn't keep my legs from shaking.
I managed to get rid of it and sleep on the drive home. Got in at 6:30 and passed out.
Same time next year.
xxo
Monday, August 13, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
An open letter
My head is like a whirlwind. It slows down sometimes, and I can pick thoughts and feelings out. Right now I'm in a spin. It's always best when things come out under my fingers onto this monitor, or flow out of my pen onto my battered notebook.
I feel full of romance. Like it's gonna burst out of my ears if I don't give someone a bunch of flowers. It feels weird having all this love for you and not being able to show it. I do hint at it, and you pick up on it, but I don't think I show just how much you mean.
I'm done being afraid of showing my feelings. This is who I am, why should I hide it?
I do miss you more than anything. I saw a girl walking across Tesco car park today who looked like you from the back, and my stomach turned over. It wasn't you, because your car wasn't there, but I loved having that feeling for you.
On the drive home I remembered things about me and you.
I saw a garden full of flowers and I remembered the bouquet I left for you when you were on holiday, and how I went to the flower shop and asked for 'something nice for a pretty girl'. I remembered the time I went to a field of daffodils, picked them all and covered your car in them.
I saw a pen on the floor and remembered when we made love and you fell asleep in my arms, and I sat up watching you sleep and wrote you a song, and then put it away somewhere safe.
I saw a tissue on the dashboard and remembered when we were broken up and I came over and cried on your shoulder, and you took me back and I woke up next to you in the morning.
I saw a Mcdonalds and remembered the time you were sick and I brought you Mcdonalds in bed and looked after you all day.
I saw the sun, and remembered when we sat on the beach and watched it set together.
I got home and saw my bedroom and remembered being in love.
I want to be able to look around next year and remember a whole bunch of new moments. I want to give you the same opportunity.
I want to build a wall around us made of sweet words and gestures of affection. There will be a door so we can go out into the real world, but I want us to always go back to that place, and curl up together and only think about each others eyes.
I want to lift you up under the stars and spin you round, then put you down and kiss you, hold you in my arms and know we're the only two people that feel that way in the world.
I want to be those kids from high school. You know the ones. You're the pretty quiet girl and I'm the geeky kid with a crush. I bump into you in the hall and you drop your books. We both pick them up and our eyes meet, and that's it. Forever decided in a moment.
I remember the first moment we met. You were wearing jeans, black Converse, a blue Dickies t-shirt, and your hair in pigtails. You looked beautiful. I could never have guessed who you'd become.
I want to wake up next to that same beautiful girl every day for the rest of my life. I want to tell you that you mean the world to me every minute of every day. I want to show you. I want to sit next to you on the couch 30 years from now and tell you how glad I am that you're my wife. I want us to keep each other warm. I want to surprise you with a bedroom full of candles and flowers, and make love to you until the sun comes up.
I want you. All of you, for all time.
I love you.
I just thought you should know.
xx
I feel full of romance. Like it's gonna burst out of my ears if I don't give someone a bunch of flowers. It feels weird having all this love for you and not being able to show it. I do hint at it, and you pick up on it, but I don't think I show just how much you mean.
I'm done being afraid of showing my feelings. This is who I am, why should I hide it?
I do miss you more than anything. I saw a girl walking across Tesco car park today who looked like you from the back, and my stomach turned over. It wasn't you, because your car wasn't there, but I loved having that feeling for you.
On the drive home I remembered things about me and you.
I saw a garden full of flowers and I remembered the bouquet I left for you when you were on holiday, and how I went to the flower shop and asked for 'something nice for a pretty girl'. I remembered the time I went to a field of daffodils, picked them all and covered your car in them.
I saw a pen on the floor and remembered when we made love and you fell asleep in my arms, and I sat up watching you sleep and wrote you a song, and then put it away somewhere safe.
I saw a tissue on the dashboard and remembered when we were broken up and I came over and cried on your shoulder, and you took me back and I woke up next to you in the morning.
I saw a Mcdonalds and remembered the time you were sick and I brought you Mcdonalds in bed and looked after you all day.
I saw the sun, and remembered when we sat on the beach and watched it set together.
I got home and saw my bedroom and remembered being in love.
I want to be able to look around next year and remember a whole bunch of new moments. I want to give you the same opportunity.
I want to build a wall around us made of sweet words and gestures of affection. There will be a door so we can go out into the real world, but I want us to always go back to that place, and curl up together and only think about each others eyes.
I want to lift you up under the stars and spin you round, then put you down and kiss you, hold you in my arms and know we're the only two people that feel that way in the world.
I want to be those kids from high school. You know the ones. You're the pretty quiet girl and I'm the geeky kid with a crush. I bump into you in the hall and you drop your books. We both pick them up and our eyes meet, and that's it. Forever decided in a moment.
I remember the first moment we met. You were wearing jeans, black Converse, a blue Dickies t-shirt, and your hair in pigtails. You looked beautiful. I could never have guessed who you'd become.
I want to wake up next to that same beautiful girl every day for the rest of my life. I want to tell you that you mean the world to me every minute of every day. I want to show you. I want to sit next to you on the couch 30 years from now and tell you how glad I am that you're my wife. I want us to keep each other warm. I want to surprise you with a bedroom full of candles and flowers, and make love to you until the sun comes up.
I want you. All of you, for all time.
I love you.
I just thought you should know.
xx
Like Hellogoodbye, I'm a wimp, but a cute wimp that you want to cuddle
Of course you can only love one person fully. What's the point otherwise?
For all the talk about sex, I'm just a romantic at heart. I don't sleep around for this reason. Because sex as an act is an expression of a feeling, just like handing over flowers or writing a poem. It can mean whatever you want it to. Sex without love isn't worth anything. Yes I have had my share of it. Do I regret it? Maybe. I certainly regret the results of some of my actions, but if I hadn't been through the life I've lived, then I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be sitting here writing this. Could I be happier with my life? Yes. No one person is ever truly happy. Happiness comes in moments. If the space between these moments is filled with mediocrity, then people appear to be happy. Just as people who have bad moments more than most appear to be sad. Life in its base form is mediocre, flat, and uninteresting. It is the moments that accentuate this state that truly define a persons being. My life is full of ups and downs. I've experienced crushing depression and soaring elation, and everything in between. I wouldn't have it any other way. Every scar, every bruise, every crack in my heart and mind, is a testament to the person I am today.
I've held things back, but who hasn't. No one can say that they have lived completely deliberately, unafraid of acting and speaking exactly as they see fit. Some of us are more outspoken than others, some of us act on impulse most of the time, but we'll all, every single one of us, find ourselves in moments in our lives where we'll hold something back. I've held some things in over the past 6 months, and I've let some things out that I've hidden for a long time. I am more open and honest now than I have ever been, unashamed of who I am and where I come from, but I still have things to hide. We all do.
Tonight, every one of you should let something out that you have hidden. Bad or good, for better or worse. Live your life, unafraid, for these few small hours, minutes, seconds. Be truly yourself.
I'm going to go and lie on my bed for an hour and then write an open letter to the person in my life who means the most.
xxo
For all the talk about sex, I'm just a romantic at heart. I don't sleep around for this reason. Because sex as an act is an expression of a feeling, just like handing over flowers or writing a poem. It can mean whatever you want it to. Sex without love isn't worth anything. Yes I have had my share of it. Do I regret it? Maybe. I certainly regret the results of some of my actions, but if I hadn't been through the life I've lived, then I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be sitting here writing this. Could I be happier with my life? Yes. No one person is ever truly happy. Happiness comes in moments. If the space between these moments is filled with mediocrity, then people appear to be happy. Just as people who have bad moments more than most appear to be sad. Life in its base form is mediocre, flat, and uninteresting. It is the moments that accentuate this state that truly define a persons being. My life is full of ups and downs. I've experienced crushing depression and soaring elation, and everything in between. I wouldn't have it any other way. Every scar, every bruise, every crack in my heart and mind, is a testament to the person I am today.
I've held things back, but who hasn't. No one can say that they have lived completely deliberately, unafraid of acting and speaking exactly as they see fit. Some of us are more outspoken than others, some of us act on impulse most of the time, but we'll all, every single one of us, find ourselves in moments in our lives where we'll hold something back. I've held some things in over the past 6 months, and I've let some things out that I've hidden for a long time. I am more open and honest now than I have ever been, unashamed of who I am and where I come from, but I still have things to hide. We all do.
Tonight, every one of you should let something out that you have hidden. Bad or good, for better or worse. Live your life, unafraid, for these few small hours, minutes, seconds. Be truly yourself.
I'm going to go and lie on my bed for an hour and then write an open letter to the person in my life who means the most.
xxo
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Because Becks has nothing better to do than read my shitty writing
I'm bringing back flip flops and 3/4 length pants. But not like the 3/4 shorts thing, skinny jeans rolled up. I'm down with that. The sun is back now and I've got my summer look figured out. No one else does. Get a move on.
Is that kinda girly? I think I'm getting really in touch with my feminine side at the moment. It always happens when I'm single. I knew Sarah's dress was Jane Norman just by glancing at it, and then I was able to talk about the Japanese style collection she had out 6 months ago and why I liked it. Lucy was quite shocked at that. I think I'm kinda like the gay friend that isn't gay.
Blow jobs are fun. I feel like this is a subject that most people skate over. I love giving blow jobs. To girls. I don't see why we should separate sucking cock with eating out. Call them the same thing, and just go off the gender of the person saying it. So if I say blow job, I mean going down on a girl. Simple. But seriously, I don't think guys are giving this enough attention. Most of the guys I know just want to tuck their little soldier away and go straight for the finish line, but really, where's the fun in that? The best feeling in the world is making a girl cum. It makes me feel like I've achieved something from sex, rather than just fucking away and hoping the girl will get off. Blowing a girl means you can just stay down there until she gets off, and you know when she does. I love giving blow jobs. I don't know why other people don't.
I really don't know why I drink. It's just a waste of money and I don't feel good afterwards, or during. I went shopping with Lucy today (and got pissed off that you can't find DKNY jeans in Wigan) and then we drank afterwards, and it made me feel awful. I'm not at all keen on this pastime. Fuck drinking. I'm just as fun sober as I am drunk. In fact, I'm an asshole when I'm drunk, so there are pretty much no good points to it at all.
What's the deal with guys thinking that being hairy is cool? I'm all for laser hair removal. I keep my nose hair non existant, my balls shaved, and my face smooth. Any unexpected body hair gets taken care of as soon as I notice it. It's so much sexier being streamlined.
Honestly though honey, don't get hung up on mistakes. You made a bad one, big deal. If you dwell on it it's gonna upset you a lot more. I've been through the whole sadness thing, more than most people know, and it's not worth it. I wish I'd just seen my mistakes for what they were and just moved on. Don't base your life on other people. Live it for yourself and let them move around you. If you just let things happen then they work out a lot better. Things run their course. You choose your own path.
Let's see. Things I am cool with today.
1. My hair. Haven't washed it in 3 days and it still looks rad.
2. Flip flops. Worthy put it perfectly at Satans, 'Tom Cruise will be doing it next year and you'll all think it's cool'. Get on it now.
3. Kanye West. Dude can't put a foot wrong. Throw your diamonds in the sky.
4. Gym Class Heroes getting played in Debenhams. You fuckin made it guys!
5. Pasta. I cook the greatest ever.
6. Apricot face scrub and candy lip gloss. These two things are responsible for my awesome looks today.
Things I am not cool with today.
1. The lack of local DKNY stockists.
2. Alcohol. I've got a goddamn headache and i hate it.
3. I've been bitten 4 times on the same leg by a mystery bug. It's itchy and red and generally sucks.
4. The fact that I don't have a girlfriend to blow for hours.
On that last note. I really do want a girlfriend. Just someone I can be really sweet to, and also give head for hours. I don't think I'm being too demanding really.
xxo
P.S. I do still love you. I was waiting for the stones to hit my window. They never came.
Currently listening to : High Life Scenery - The Rocket Summer
Is that kinda girly? I think I'm getting really in touch with my feminine side at the moment. It always happens when I'm single. I knew Sarah's dress was Jane Norman just by glancing at it, and then I was able to talk about the Japanese style collection she had out 6 months ago and why I liked it. Lucy was quite shocked at that. I think I'm kinda like the gay friend that isn't gay.
Blow jobs are fun. I feel like this is a subject that most people skate over. I love giving blow jobs. To girls. I don't see why we should separate sucking cock with eating out. Call them the same thing, and just go off the gender of the person saying it. So if I say blow job, I mean going down on a girl. Simple. But seriously, I don't think guys are giving this enough attention. Most of the guys I know just want to tuck their little soldier away and go straight for the finish line, but really, where's the fun in that? The best feeling in the world is making a girl cum. It makes me feel like I've achieved something from sex, rather than just fucking away and hoping the girl will get off. Blowing a girl means you can just stay down there until she gets off, and you know when she does. I love giving blow jobs. I don't know why other people don't.
I really don't know why I drink. It's just a waste of money and I don't feel good afterwards, or during. I went shopping with Lucy today (and got pissed off that you can't find DKNY jeans in Wigan) and then we drank afterwards, and it made me feel awful. I'm not at all keen on this pastime. Fuck drinking. I'm just as fun sober as I am drunk. In fact, I'm an asshole when I'm drunk, so there are pretty much no good points to it at all.
What's the deal with guys thinking that being hairy is cool? I'm all for laser hair removal. I keep my nose hair non existant, my balls shaved, and my face smooth. Any unexpected body hair gets taken care of as soon as I notice it. It's so much sexier being streamlined.
Honestly though honey, don't get hung up on mistakes. You made a bad one, big deal. If you dwell on it it's gonna upset you a lot more. I've been through the whole sadness thing, more than most people know, and it's not worth it. I wish I'd just seen my mistakes for what they were and just moved on. Don't base your life on other people. Live it for yourself and let them move around you. If you just let things happen then they work out a lot better. Things run their course. You choose your own path.
Let's see. Things I am cool with today.
1. My hair. Haven't washed it in 3 days and it still looks rad.
2. Flip flops. Worthy put it perfectly at Satans, 'Tom Cruise will be doing it next year and you'll all think it's cool'. Get on it now.
3. Kanye West. Dude can't put a foot wrong. Throw your diamonds in the sky.
4. Gym Class Heroes getting played in Debenhams. You fuckin made it guys!
5. Pasta. I cook the greatest ever.
6. Apricot face scrub and candy lip gloss. These two things are responsible for my awesome looks today.
Things I am not cool with today.
1. The lack of local DKNY stockists.
2. Alcohol. I've got a goddamn headache and i hate it.
3. I've been bitten 4 times on the same leg by a mystery bug. It's itchy and red and generally sucks.
4. The fact that I don't have a girlfriend to blow for hours.
On that last note. I really do want a girlfriend. Just someone I can be really sweet to, and also give head for hours. I don't think I'm being too demanding really.
xxo
P.S. I do still love you. I was waiting for the stones to hit my window. They never came.
Currently listening to : High Life Scenery - The Rocket Summer
Monday, August 6, 2007
Armour on the inside
I could be sweeter for you than he ever tasted.
I could be more like home than he ever felt.
I could sink the moon and bring you the sunrise.
I could break the clock and keep us in that perfect moment.
But you'll never know, and my chance passed me by.
Or did it?
Was it ever meant to be anything more than a breath.
A blink of the eye.
A flash of light.
Honey, you were never bright enough to blind me.
Let it go and let me in.
Too late, it's over.
Don't expect my shoulder when it all shatters.
xxo
I could be more like home than he ever felt.
I could sink the moon and bring you the sunrise.
I could break the clock and keep us in that perfect moment.
But you'll never know, and my chance passed me by.
Or did it?
Was it ever meant to be anything more than a breath.
A blink of the eye.
A flash of light.
Honey, you were never bright enough to blind me.
Let it go and let me in.
Too late, it's over.
Don't expect my shoulder when it all shatters.
xxo
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