Dreaming

I'll be out here to stay sooner than you think. You always held me down without even trying.

It's over, that's what I told her. I still mean it, even if I have to keep reminding myself.

The LA girls are lacing up their sneakers.

xxo

A whole terminal and not one bottle of Volvic

I remember when I was a kid and airports were like the most exciting places ever. I didn't give a shit where I was flying as long as I could ride up and down the moving floor thing and hide under the seats in the departure lounge. Now they're just kinda boring. It's like waiting for a really expensive train.

I haven't slept in 24 hours because I had to be up early to check my luggage in, which actually took about 15 minutes, plus I want to sleep on the flight, so now I'm killing 2 hours until I have to board. I only got in at about 4am this morning because I was having a pre-trip hang out. I saw a bunch of people I haven't spoken to in ages, so it was nice to get a quick all round catch up. I'm super tired right now though, so I'm listening to the 'new' Rilo Kiley album. Apart from being my super tired hang out soundtrack, it's a rad album, go get it got.

I also caught the Rocket Summer show in Manchester last night. Seriously, that dude is amazing. At one point in the show his entire band walked off stage, and he sat behind the drums and started playing a beat. I figured he was just being all rock and roll and doing a drum solo. So when he's finished playing, the drums keep going. Then his tech (who looked like an old school Tom Morello) hands him a bass, and he plays another riff over the drum track. After that he adds piano and guitar tracks, and then starts singing over the whole thing. So dudes basically just recorded an entire track in the space of about 5 minutes...and it kicks ass. Like this is some real catchy shit. Then the band walk back out, pick up their instruments and drop into the song like they've been playing it the whole time. No question, Bryce Avary earns his record sales.

A guy I haven't spoken to in ages is selling a mega rare American Nightmare tee. I put a claim on it as soon as I heard, but I can't give him the money or pick it up for another 2 weeks, so there's every chance he might sell it. If I don't end up wearing it I'm gonna be seriously disappointed. I already lost my Bridge 9 New Found Glory tee, which was one of my favourites.

My thumb is starting to hurt from typing now so I'm gonna play some Zelda.

Xxo

Currently listening to: Rilo Kiley - Give A Little Love

I am excited for:

- Lunch at Wendy's
- Sprinkles
- Go Ape
- Kid Robot
- Vegas
- Seeing Chi Town
- Going to my first shows in another country

The sky could be blue, I don't mind, without you it's a waste of time.

Xxo

Give me back my lunch money

I just opened the web browser on my sidekick and the last page I visited was the Wikipedia page on Gwen Stacy. This officially means i am a nerd. I've suspected it for some time, as I'm sure you all have. If you don't know who Gwen Stacy is, you're probably one of my friends. In fact, that is probably why you are one of my friends.

Xxo

Currently listening to: Kate Nash - Pumpkin Soup

I bailed on a taxi tonight. Like totally bailed. I'll write more about it tomorrow but right now my back and legs are hurting bad.


Na night.

xxo

'No more drama' said the llama

I'm currently sitting in the train station waiting to go home. It's weird that I'll spend a couple of hours in the gym, but the notion of walking home afterwards never enters my head.

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with the fact that I currently have no major creative outlets. There are a few things floating around that could potentially fill this void, but commitments do have a habit of clashing. I've been reading and listening to as much as I can, but, as any sponge worth its salt will tell you, absorbing can lose its appeal after a while. I need something to come along and give me a big squeeze.

About a month ago I started reading Kanye's blog, which he basically fills with weird and awesome stuff that he's seen or heard. If you haven't checked it out already, go do it now (you'll have to google it, I can't make links on my sidekick). Seeing as I currently don't have a way to share my ideas the way I would like, I can at least share the things that spark those ideas. So I'm going to start a second blog to do just that. I'll be putting up the first few posts later tonight. You can find it at 'lostboystoys.blogspot.com'. I'm quite excited, it's gonna be fun.

I have been spending a stupid amount of money on Ultimate Marvel series comics in the past few weeks. I can't help it though, that shit is seriously awesome. The Iron Man movie was pretty amazing but Ultimate Iron Man beats it hands down.

I've actually almost made it home in the time it took me to write this. I'd better wrap it up now because I'm in serious danger of getting a concussion from a lamp post.

Xxo

Currently listening to: John Mayer - Your body is a wonderland

edit: I've moved my new blog here because it works a lot better.

Because I bring cherry yoghurt to a vodka party

Today has been rad. Hanging with old friends and meeting new ones. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Put on that candy lip gloss and kiss your mirrors. We're all gonna be famous.

Shit that's making me thump right now:

- Omen feat. Travie

- Kidrobot

- Extra scenes with Iron Man

- Ultimate X-Men

- Cali dreams

You'll all be princes soon enough.



ChriSatellite

xxo

Even if your favourite grrrl is too much of a busy bee to keep you upto date, you've still gotta keep her in your heart. When she's feeling down and you can't cheer her up, you've gotta do something, however small to let her know that she's on your mind, and she will be until she feels better, and if she needs you, she's got you.

Chin up purdy, I think you're wonderful.

xxo

Why are you grring at me panda bear?

I'm not sure exactly how many people read this. It's probably more than I think. Mainly though, my audience consists of my close friends. So for those of you that don't know me as well as the five people that matter the most, here are ten things you should know about me.

1. My name is Chris. But there are only four people who call me that, and are important enough for me to care (well, three now). The rest call me Cowley. So will you.

2. My favourite things in the world are music, comics, and the five people i mentioned before. Everything else that I enjoy is encompassed in some way by these things. Except for cheese.

3. I am currently studying for an honours degree in Business and Marketing. After this I will become incredibly successful. This will have nothing to do with the degree.

4. I have a problem with manic depression. I don't care if you think I'm attention seeking or being overdramatic. It's a fact. I get over it most of the time. So should you.

5. If you don't like Fall Out Boy then I don't like you.

6. I was listening to Fireworks and Four Year Strong while you were still messing with the peak on your New Era at that Bring Me The Horizon show. Don't front.

7. Six simple words. My. Friends. Are. Funnier. Than. Yours.

8. I find one girl out of a thousand attractive. This is a pointless fact since when I do find that girl I lack the basic social skills to talk to her.

9. I'm not a geek. I'm a nerd. Nerds are smart.

10. I rarely conclude journal posts.

xxo

I'd better put on a monocle

I love Natalie Portman. She's the perfect woman.

That is all.

xxo

Bros before hos

Sometimes, when you love someone, you become a fool for them. It's happened to me, and I'm sure it's happened to you. It made me forget how important my friends are to me, and why they're my friends in the first place. They're always there to look out for me. Being the stubborn little kid that I am, I forgot that sometimes, in fact most of the time, my friends do know what's best for me. When people tell you all the time that you should move on and forget about someone you love, you block it out at first. Eventually though, it starts to get through, and you start to see the sense in what they've been saying.

It seems like I've been stuck in this loop forever. It's always the same old story, and I always end up disappointed and frustrated with myself for letting it happen again, for allowing someone to string me along. Every time my friends tell me that I should get out before it happens again. It never sunk in until now that they might be onto something.

xxo

As another year draws to a close, I think we can all look back and say.....

Seriously, you really think I'd start writing with that cliched piece of bullshit?

I'm probably expected to write some giant retrospective on the past 12 months. If you're looking for a guide to what has actually happened in my day to day life, then this journal won't have worked very well for you. If you want to know what it is that resides inside my head alongside my brain and all those pictures of boobs, then it still won't be of much use. The fact is there's so much going on behind my eyes that I can't even begin to put it into words. Occasionally things float to the surface, and when they do, you get to hear about them. That's pretty much how this year has been for me. Looking back, it just seems like one big mess. Nothing really jumps out at me. Occasionally I will remember things, but nothing sticks in my mind. I know that it's been a good year, because I've changed and grown. I'm not who I was on January 1st, and for myself, I am a better person. Yes, it has been a good year, but not a memorable one.

Enough of that though, I'm saving it. What I really want to talk about tonight is death.
It's a harsh fact of life that a lot of people are going to die this coming year. I don't know why this thought entered my head today, but it did, and it led to another thought. Who will those people be?

When someone dies it affects someone elses life, everybody knows that. I've been lucky enough in my lifetime to have never experienced the death of someone that truly mattered to me. I've only ever been to one funeral, and they've puzzled me ever since. It was the funeral of a kid from my high school. I never really talked to the guy, he was never even really nice to me. I only went because half the school did. I just remember wearing black because that's what you did, and I alsdo remember how fake the whole thing was. Every stood there inside the church and a few people got upset, but when we got outside, it was like a reunion. I hated that, and I left straightaway. To this day I've always promised myself that if I know I'm going to die, I'll write a guestlist for my funeral so no one fake can sneak in.

Most of the people who influence me are dead. Ernest Hemingway, Jack Kerouac, both people who inspired me to write, both dead. I can't help thinking that one of my living inspirations might join the list this year, and what effect this might have. Will they be glorified, remembered, or will they pass unnoticed, unappreciated. Am I the only one to whom they have true meaning?

The uncertainty is what people fear about death the most, but it is also it's most curious quality.
My dad has recently come out of hospital. He was in there to have a heart bypass operation. Everything went fine and he's home now, but while he was still in hospital, I was scared that I was going to lose him. This fear of death has made me a lot closer to him. Sometimes even something so dark can come with a blessing.

The death of this past year has given life to a whole host of curiosity and new uncertainties. But that's what being human is all about. If we didn't feel uncertainty about death, we wouldn't be able to truly feel alive.

xxo

Currently listening to: February Air - Lights